What kind of responder are you?

Responding Habits – good habits – bad habits?

Author Gretchen Rubin describes her latest literature that focuses on how you create habits and you, as an individual, respond to rules of living.

 

Here are her four type of responder’s to rules (whether external rules or internal rules). Where do you fit in the most?

·         Upholder – Responds readily to both inner and outer rules.

Need to know what is expected – need to know guidelines and expectations – strong sense of obligation to their own rules

·         Questioners – question all rules – if they agree they will conform and follow the rules.

-          Both Upholders and Rebels – depends on how they feel about the Rules.

Motivated by sound reason – it must make sense but will not follow rules that have no grounds – typically intellectually engaged. NEED for information

·         Rebel – Resists all rules – do what they want to do no matter the situation. Typically lead a satisfying life – not necessarily a productive or successful one.

·         Obligors – Respond readily with outer rules but have a hard time rules for themselves.

Often are the ones to jump on tasks to help others but often forget to take care of themselves – high rate of burn out.

I quickly thought I was an Upholder. My sister can tell you that there are certain rules I will not, absolutely will not, break. Things in regards to safety are pretty high on my rules that can be questioned (once!) but will ALWAYS hold weight when proven necessary.

After digging deeper into how I really work – I see clearly that I am a Questioner – why? Because when I come across a task – duty so to say – I will briefly question it if I have yet to understand the importance of it. When it has been decided, or has already been shown the need, I will do it and always with the best of my ability.  Let me give you an example. In education, often times there are rigid expectations and guidelines that need to be followed. Knowing that everyone is different and learns a different way, I have a hard time with people being put into these standardized boxes. If you can remember a video I shared a while ago about the education system and its flaws, you can see why I feel the way I do about setting generic parameters in education.  

Grasping that I am a questioner brings light as to why I work so well with children. They ask “why?” they want to know why. Even when they ask again, they are trying to grasp the importance of your explanation and how it pertains to their here and now. Since I have come to terms with being a questioner, it has provided me with the relief of certain frustrations that come from not understanding and frankly “rebelling” against rules that just create boundaries that are unnecessary; Boundaries that inhibit growth because the lines are black and white.  

Photo: http://thedailyquipple.com/tag/happiness-quotes/

My next question for myself is why is it so hard for me not to jump in head first and full speed when I love what I do? When you but your head against someone who is not “in it” like you are, it can be disheartening. I am back in a spot that was challenging for me previously, 3 weeks later and nothing has changed. I did not expect anything less, hence no disappoint there. To tough it through is something that I need to do. I accepted the open position for the high chance of being moved to another department. In a department that would be somewhat foreign to me. I am pushing for this new endeavor in hopes that I can grow and learn as professional. Knowing that my ultimate goal is still decades away. Reserving my passionate, eager and self-motivated self at bay has been one of the hardest things I have faced professionally in a long time!

Here’s the deal – I love kids, I love education, I love family relationships being the facilitator of these. I have a passion for these things. Several articles have really provided insight on my ideas of a career. I want to make a difference. The questioner in me is always asking “are you where you need to be?” and pushing myself to make a mark no matter what umbrella I stand under.

What type of responder are you? Can you understand some of the obstacles you face in your work place or classroom? How can you go about changing these challenges and make them better fit for your responsive behaviors?

 

 

Ashley

thelloydmom