This began to process of friends coming and going. Friends disappearing, making excuses and flat out falling off the face of the earth. In the moment, I was totally bummed, I mean a BFF is supposed to be, well, forever. This fallacy is sweet when in it, forever until your life changes. As an adult you come to realize otherwise. You go through phases of anger, resentment and irritability with those forever friends. These fade if you allow them too. You learn to forgive and move past who you had as friends.
You see, I learned that everyone has their own issues to deal with and it makes my world more difficult if I harbor those feelings. I had to take a mental break from those who I held most dear (and don't get me wrong, they still have a special place in my heart) and live life in the now. Be grateful for those who are here for me now. Most importantly, cherish memories made with those in your past.
This brings me to all of my friends who are moms. We all know what life is like with a husband (or not) and kids. These beings are and always will be the most important people in your life. Their needs always supersede those who don't live under your roof. There are no ifs ands or buts about it. I sometimes catch myself in pre-mom brain feeling sad by the unreturned text or unreciprocated invites. I to pull back and say "She's a mom, right now she is probably fixing food, cleaning a mess, taking a well deserved shower, or better yet watching her favorite tv show without interruption!" I cannot be harsh on my mom friends. Why? Because I do it too! I glance at your text thinking about my response... Then I don't text you for three days. This normally ends with "oh my gosh, I'm the worst!" Mom friends get it, others may roll their eyes. Either way, I'm sorry!
A really good friend of mine (a mom friend;) ) said that the worst part of having friends who are moms can be the unsolicited advice and judgements that are made. Moms, do yourself a favor, give her some slack, all moms walk a different path in motherhood. What works for you, most likely, won't work as well for her. Leave the advice for when she needs it and send her love and encouragement always. In the end, your children are watching how cynical you are about your peers. Do you want them to grow up thinking that judging, discouraging and minimilizing "friends" is how to nurture a friendship? I think not.
And to those who are not my mom friends, know that this does not demean our friendships by any means. Why? Because you stick with me even through my missed girls nights and 3-day later replies! For that, I thank you.
thelloydmom
