Three weeks of Reflection

These last three weeks have been quite a blur. A blur in a sense of future endeavors and decisions to be made. In these last few weeks my husband and I had to search for jobs, mine was a replacement, whereas his was more of a promotion. He took on a job to be a Regional Project Manager for a growing underground (literally) company. This came to a surprise to us as he turned down a position at this same company a week before. They called him back to ask him to replace the man that had interviewed him. He really impressed them with his professionalism and knowledge of the duties he would be taking on. He truly deserves this next step and I am so anxious to see where it takes him. With his hard work ethic and dedication, I know there is nothing but positive growth in his future.

This brings me to my change. The agency that I worked for did not get their grant renewed. What this meant was those whom were paid under this grant would no longer be funded at the end of June. Initially, I anticipated this change. Infact, I was banking on it. I was disheartened by the politics of the fundee and all I wanted was the best for the children and families that I served. This often tied my hands when making decisions within my visits and community events. This was hard. Hard to be told that you can't be completely open and honest with what was happening (or what could be). My policy is to be transparent. This went against my moral fiber. As you can see, I anticipated the change. I was offered a chance to move within the agency laterally, but I just could not see myself running around with the politics of the Agency who preached well being and prevention but was really focused on their intervention piece (nothing wrong with this since it is their strong suit). It just wasn't for me. I was also given an immediate opportunity to be a paraprofessional at my sons school.This meant a HUGE paycut and no pay during summer and breaks. As much as I wanted to be there with my boys again in the school environment, I had to step back and know where my strength and education lies.
Families with children Prenatal to 5.
This is what I know,
this is what I am good at,
this is where I can confidently speak up and not second guess what I am saying.
This is the core and foundation for this blog.
I want to partner with families with young children and provide an outlet for them to ask the questions they may not want to ask friends or family, where they won't feel judged or recieve an answer with a strong bias. I want what is best for all kids. Not just the ones I know and love. As for "work", I am an Instructor at Grow With Yoga ABC in Gilbert, as well as, a teacher at Watch Me Grow Child Care and Preschool. This September, I will have known these families for the last 4 years. They have become family to me. This is where I feel at home. Although there currently is no room for managerial growth (which is really the jackpot job for me, to help support teachers and children = score!) I know that I can make an impact on the children that I will teach in the PreK classroom. This beat all of the other uncertain outcomes from the other opportunities. As much as my husband sees this as "settling" (asking "How much debt are we in now that you have a degree?")  I can't let money overtake the now. I will figure that out as it goes.

After reflecting on these last three weeks, it has brought me to the core of our family. The relationship between my husband and I. No matter what has been thrown our way in the last 11 years (power turned off, stress of school/work/home, bills, medical care, being told NO), we have always perservered and made it out of the ash of what ever mess surrounded us. This has been a true testament to our strength and support for one another. We know its never 50/50 in a marriage. It may be 80/20 for a couple months and then 40/60. You can't take score.Who knows maybe it was my Family and Relationship courses that I took for it to solidify our thoughts on marriage. We knew we were on the right path, but when someone tells you the things that happen in a healthy marriage are happening in yours... it feels pretty damn good.
So here's a toast, to all you couples who have been through more than your family and friends may never know, to you who have said its worth it to be honest, open and communicate with your spouses. I applaud you, it may not be an easy feat, but dammit it sure feels really good to look across the table and know that he(she) has your back no matter what.

thelloydmom
Ashley Lloyd

(photo cred: thethingswesay.com)

 

Mood swings and your kid

After doing some research on mood swings for my seven-year-old son, I came to find out that they are more common in our children that we may know. They often happen at the drop of a hat and you wonder what is going on with your kid. Where have you gone wrong?  Are they hungry tired sleepy etc. etc. Apparently, according to this website centerofparentingeducation.org, they happen more frequently than you may think. Mood variation typically rings a bell when you're thinking about the teenage years. Teenagers going up and down in mood because of their hormones but as your child grows they are going through these changes in their body and they don't really quite understand why the feeling the way that feeling. I found out that before age 6 1/2, your child can go through a bout of mood swings every six months or so and then after age 6 1/2 it's on the odd years 7, 9 and 11. That's when we come in as parents! We have to show them how to regulate these new feelings.

http://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/child-development/child-development-by-age/

This site breaks down each age and the developmental areas that your child is coming upon. I could pinpoint each issue that we were having with my seven-year-old here. It was really helpful and it definitely made me feel little bit more easier about this being phased versus being something serious. 

Parenting is always a learning experience even for those who feel like they have it down. I truly believe there are no experts just learning what works as it comes. 

Ash

Thelloydmom

Drowning is silent

The campaign that can save lives. Did you know that downing can happen in an inch of water?

At one point in the several past months, I have witnessed a handful of incidents where I have thought to myself "don't they know they can drown?" For instance, a toddler being left in a tub of running water so she can clean up something on the kitchen floor, clear across her home...?? I was mortified! Of course, the next time I saw this sweet mom I brought her information on the dangers of water and unattended toddlers! 

Being an Arizona resident, and an educator, this is something so poignant in my line of work. Not only that, something I am adamant about being a mother of two rambunctious boys.
What to do?
Take a minute to watch this video, it recalls two stories, one about a boy encountering secondary drowning and another family that is filled with grief because of that "one" second dad looked away.
In that video, they do a wonderful demonstration of the latest CPR technique for adults, infant and children. If you don't know these, watch this video just for that. You can save a life. Most often times a child will drown at a party or gathering because they are not being watched by the everyone gathered around the pool. The parent naively assuming that everyone else has their eye on the kids on the pool. I mean, we get it, it was a long week at work and you need some RnR and adult time too. Right? WRONG. Don't let that be you, hang with your kid and relax with them. Be sure to be diligent and watch your kid in the water.

Your child is worth more than whatever pulls your attention from them around water.

Ash
thelloydmom

Life happens, don't let it pass you by.

Take today to stop and smile. Play with  your kiddos because these moments are quickly running away from us. You'll look back and think why didn't my stop and hug them? Why didn't we stop to have fun? Don't have a future of regrets,  stop and play now. Giggle a little. I guarantee you WONT regret that.

PS it doctors orders ;)

Ash
thelloydmom

What your child's teachers want you to know.

I recently read this article that had been weighing on my mind. It was written by a high school teacher but I feel it pertains to us all as parents with children in the classroom with other adults. I have felt the same way he notes, but on the other hand have felt the way he explains parents may act when it comes to their child succeeding. I want to break down his points in each section to get it across to parents of all ages.

First, "we are educators, not nannies". Dead on. Especially in early education, teachers get that look of "who are you to tell me.... ". For those who are in the field with knowledge like I work with at Watch Me Grow Childcare and Preschool, we are educated. We are educated and have seen your kiddo outside of the comfort of the home. If we see something that isn't typical, or normal for your child's development, we should not be chastised for wanting to prove tips and tools for the parents to get the child where they should be. We need to have a circle of trust between the teacher and the parent. Trust our eye and don't fight our advice or suggestions when it comes to your child in the class and their interactions with others. We are your partner in providing your child with the best start in life.

Second, excuses for your child's work not getting done. Luckily, there is less of this in early education because your children are still learning to develop a sense of responsibility and ownership of their actions. That brings me to behavior. Do, let us know if they didn't sleep well, eat breakfast or if a parent is out of town. These are called stressors. This provides us with the knowledge of why the child is displaying this behavior and allows us to open up the line if communication with the chid during school. They are throwing tantrums during carpet time because of their sleepless night, let's label this. We can discuss the reasoning for your child to link the emotion to the cause. They need to know that it's okay to be sad and irritated because Dad is out of town for three days and they really miss him. Party of our job is to help arm them with the coping tools for when those feelings creep up on them again.

"Please, be a partner instead of a prosecutor." I cannot emphasize this enough. In terms of early care, don't go over our head unless a behavior or interactions with your child warrants immediate action. If your kid is having a hard time adjusting or just hasn't connected with the early care teacher, tell that teacher and discuss what your child enjoys, find common ground and, again, partner with your child's teacher to make the relationship thrive. Who knows, you may be walking in on the witching hour and all of the kids are in tears, this happens from time to time.  We teachers are not lying when we say crying is contagious.

Lastly, when your child tells you something about school that concerns you, approach your teacher like this "I wanted to let you know something my child said took place in your class, because I know that children can exaggerate and that there are always two sides to every story. I was hoping you could shed some light for me." Kids exaggerate and don't understand the terms on context. This reminds me of the picture with this post. We hear things too, doesn't mean we believe it all.

Consider this as my final plea, if your doctor gives you tips to get healthy, you take it as educated guidance. Treat your teacher as the educated professional they are.  We aren't in this field for the money, but we are in it for the moments of epiphany and quality guidance of costed and families. They are our future and we want them to walk with confidence that their parents and teachers are united in what's best. If you question and talk the teacher down of front of your child, they will not have respect for that teacher and possibly make the same excuse for teachers and leaders ahead of them. When they meet challenge in the classroom, you want them to dig deep into themselves to work and don't want them to dish out excuses.

For the full article, and words of wisdom when it comes to upper level educational partnership, find it here.

Ash
thelloydmom

Responsibilities = Sense of being needed

In our house the boys have responsibilities. I don't like to use the word chores. It has such a negative connotation to it. If you offer responsibilities, this in turn provides your child with a sense of "they need me". Following the previous post, if you set this up in a way for them to take a leadership role and want to please you, it will make these tasks enjoyable to them.

Rewarding them will be totally up to you. Our "reward" at the end of the day is a set of quarters (savings account money really). The only way they can earn these quarters is by following directions, being kind, following the rules at school and home and getting their responsibilities finished for that day. That may sound like a task order, but in reality doesn't it seem like a given for the kids to be successful in these? I want to point out that we make sure that everyday is a fresh slate. We never take their reward away for more than a day. This will lose other privileges for big transgressions, but the reward is earned. Like you're paycheck.

I'll leave you with setting appropriate boundaries and limits are key to a smooth day.

Use this great chart for age appropriate responsibilities. We use them and I pass them to my families that I see as a parent educator. They really are simple and direct.

Have your child help decide which and when these get done too! If they are involved on the decision process they will want to take ownership for those decision agreed upon.

It's all about delivery

In the classroom and at home, how you organize words can mean all the world to a child and their psyche.

Check out these tips for ways to encourage, strengthen and motivate you little ones. After all, they are naturally people pleasers!

http://carrotsareorange.com/children-challenging-moments/

Do you have any sayings that seem to work everytime for your brooding super hero?

Ash
thelloydmom